#and also mostly forgotten. most of it was years ago and what i do know is surface-level at best. any nuance will literally be speculation 💀

[came0dust]

i cannot keep drawing this dude on my phone but god do i love drawing him (+ bonus colors)

[saphronethaleph]

Soresu Negotiations

“Get help,” Palpatine said. “You’re no match for him. He’s a Sith Lord.”

Obi-Wan turned to look at the Chancellor. “...yes?” he said. “But he’s also something else – something I’m surprised you’ve forgotten.”

“What?” Palpatine asked.

“A politician,” Obi-Wan replied, turning back to Dooku.

Anakin groaned, then sat down.

“Here we go,” he said.

Palpatine blinked, looking from Anakin to Obi-Wan.

“...what do you mean, Anakin?” he asked.

“This happens sometimes,” Anakin replied. “How do you think he got his nickname?”

“Count,” Obi-Wan said, at about the same time. “It’s occurred to me that I never actually found out what the Confederacy wants.”

“Isn’t it a little late for this?” Dooku asked. “We have been at war for several years.”

“True,” Obi-Wan conceded, readily. “The war having started on Geonosis, because of tracing back your clone army which we… appear to have appropriated, mostly because you did it in our name. But that’s how the war started – not your objectives.”

Dooku was silent for a moment.

“I assume some semblance of a point will be emerging,” he said, eventually. “If you could be so kind as to provide it?”

“Wars begin for all sorts of reasons,” Obi-Wan replied. “But how they end… they end because a mutual settlement has been reached. And it’s occurred to me that I don’t know what you’d want out of a victory.”

He spread his hand, the one not holding the – unlit – saber. “It’s not the conquest of the Republic, I can tell that much. If the CIS annexed the Republic, what you’d have would still be the Republic, just under a different name… it’s not the Republic without the corruption that’s been causing it problems, because most of the corruption in the Republic was – was – the big industrial concerns like the Techno Union, Commerce Guild, Trade Federation. But you seem to have taken all of those off our hands, and they provide essentially your entire military so I don’t think anyone else could honestly believe that either.”

“I wouldn’t expect a Jedi to understand,” Dooku replied. “The Confederacy’s member systems have concerns relating to over-centralization.”

Obi-Wan stared at him for a long moment.

“...no they don’t,” he said.

“I hardly think you can have earned your reputation as a negotiator, Kenobi, if you are so willing to be insulting,” Dooku said, archly.

“That’s not what I mean,” Obi-Wan replied. “I mean… yes, now the Republic has an army, though really it’s actually the Jedi’s army and we’re simply letting them borrow it, but four years ago the Galactic Republic was proverbially incapable of doing anything. It took emergency powers for the Chancellor to get the Republic to authorize having any kind of military whatsoever – and the only one available was the one you ordered. That’s not over-centralization.”

He drummed his fingers on his ‘saber. “And I note that I overheard Nute Gunray insisting on the head of Senator Amidala – literally, in those words – as his price for signing a treaty. But I still haven’t heard an actual answer. What does the Galaxy look like if the Confederacy wins?”

Dooku frowned, and after about three seconds Obi-Wan glanced at the Chancellor.

“Didn’t you discuss this at any point, your excellency?” he asked. “Count Dooku doesn’t seem to have thought about this.”

Palpatine blinked.

“...he’s a Sith Lord,” he repeated. “Shouldn’t you be fighting him?”

“It’s called diplomacy, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan replied, before returning his attention to Dooku. “Grandmaster, are you seriously telling me that you never thought about what you would do if you won?”

Anakin checked his comlink, for the time, then the ship trembled slightly.

“Artoo?” he asked. “Can you tell those ships outside to stop shooting at us and give us a wide berth? This could take hours and I don’t want to find out if my name’s literal.”

“Hours?” Palpatine repeated.

“He’s rolling,” Anakin replied, rolling his eyes. “Like I say, I’m used to this.”

He rummaged in a pocket of his robes, taking out a miniature toolkit, and began disassembling his lightsaber. “I’m pretty sure I can retune these crystals to give two stable configurations which it’ll snap between, that should give me a length toggle instead of a single adjustable length…”

“Are you taking your lightsaber apart?” Palpatine hissed. “What if you need to fight?”

“It’s okay, Chancellor, I’ll get about five minutes’ warning if the negotiations are going downhill,” Anakin replied. “That should be time to put it back together again…”

Palpatine looked up to Obi-Wan, who – sure enough – was still going.

“...of course, a separate but related issue is what it’s going to be like afterwards,” Obi-Wan said. “In principle the Republic and the Jedi Order could probably accept the existence of Sith so long as we actually knew who they were and they weren’t trying to destroy us. It’s the fact that the first Sith we met in a thousand years tried to run Anakin over and cut Qui-Gon’s head off as an opening move that’s soured us towards them a bit… but are you really going to be content as someone whose whole job is to die for Sidious?”

Dooku stared at Obi-Wan, baffled, then glanced at Palpatine and Anakin.

“What do you mean?” he asked, forcing his gaze back to Obi-Wan.

“Sidious is your Master, we know that much,” Obi-Wan replied. “Partly because you told me yourself. But has he ever put himself in danger? Or has it all been you dealing with Jedi like myself and my apprentice? Putting yourself out there, in danger, while you do exactly what he says?”

He smiled slightly. “A Jedi would accept that, but you’re a Sith – you’ve said so yourself. Sith are self-interested. What do you think your new master is getting out of the situation? Because if you don’t know, it’s got to be something and it’s probably something he doesn’t want to tell you.”

“My master is quite willing to put himself in danger,” Dooku said, then clamped his lips shut at a frantic mouthed shut up from Palpatine.

“Real or feigned?” Obi-Wan asked. “Do you think he wouldn’t manipulate you? He’s been doing it to everyone else – you’ve said it.”

Dooku’s brow furrowed.

“But we’re getting off topic,” Obi-Wan said, turning to look at Palpatine. “Chancellor, what about this as a starting point? Your emergency powers were granted to resolve the crisis, and I’m sure you want to abandon them as soon as possible… so why not take away the whole reason why the individual systems in the Confederacy had problems with the Republic to begin with? Freely allow the departure of any system which wishes to do so, under the emergency powers legislation; enact a progressive tax, one which hits the Core worlds harder owing to their greater ability to pay, to sustain a carrier based navy able to hunt pirates more effectively than conduct occupations or orbital bombardment, and have the navy established on a sector-federal two-level model?”

Palpatine stared at Obi-Wan for at least ten seconds.

“...he’s a Sith Lord,” he said, yet again.

“Oh, shut up,” Dooku replied. “You’re a Sith Lord and I don’t see you doing anything constructive.”

Obi-Wan glanced at Palpatine.

“...you know,” he began. “I’m quite sure you’d need to note that on your financial disclosure forms, your Excellency.”

He turned sideways, so he could see both Dooku and Palpatine at the same time. “What was the point of this whole abduction, anyway?”

“As it happens, I was supposed to kill you,” Dooku said. “It’s the only way to turn Anakin to the Dark Side, if you’re out of the way.”

“Huh?” Anakin asked. “Is something up? I’ve almost got the crystals realigned.”

“This plan looked a lot better this morning,” Palpatine muttered.

[joonsmagicshop]

Sundress Season

Summary: The heat of the summer means you are suddenly only wearing sundresses. Short, tight, impossibly cute dresses that make Jungkook feel things. When he decides to jerk off before a beach day with you little does he know you would accidently walk in...and like what you see.

Paring: Jungkook/Reader

Word Count: 6.2K

Rating: M/18+ because smut

Tags: porn with slight plot, secret crush, friends to lovers, Jungkook is down bad, fantasizing, male masturbation, accidental voyeurism, handjob, blowjob, fingering, penetrative sex with protection, POV switch between him and reader, dirty talk, he calls her good girl at one point, slight fluff at the end, Namjoon mention cause he is my bias

Authors Note: okay so. I was about to take a nap and this idea popped into my head and I JUMPED out of bed to write it! It has been hot as hell all summer long and honestly unpopular opinion but I am ready for fall. Was gonna save this for Jungkook's birthday but oh well!

Also this was loosely inspired by a One Direction fic I read over ten years ago. While the fic is gone it is definitely not forgotten

Jungkook was someone who liked the summer months.

He liked the longer brighter days, the food eaten from a barbeque, bonfires with friends, and all the fun events that happen over the summer.

It was prime time for everyone to get out and do things before the harsh dull winter arrived.

However, this summer was different because by the time August rolled around Jungkook was just….over it.

He chalked it up to a lot of things.

The fact he didn’t get a proper haircut before the summer started, so he spent the whole time with a hair tie around his wrist to tie his hair back from his sweaty neck.

The fact he had a song coming out at the end of August that he still wasn’t completely sure about so he spent most of his days either working on it in his studio or from the comfort of his own home.

Or maybe it was the fact almost all summer long the weather had been very hot and very humid, making his clothes stick to his skin the second he walked out the door and making it almost impossible to actually enjoy going out and doing anything.

Jungkook sighed as he crossed another day off his calendar that hung on the wall in his home office counting down the days until August was over.

Sure the start of September was his birthday and he was excited for that but he was mostly getting excited about the prospect of cooler weather and no more daunting deadlines hanging over his head like an angry raincloud.

As his best friend, you could tell Jungkook wasn’t enjoying this summer. His usual free-spirited nature seemed to be crushed by the weight of his work and also the humidity, which seemed to linger no matter how many summer rainstorms blew through.

So you had texted him a week ago asking if he wanted to have a beach day with you today.

You assured him all he had to do was drive and grab beach umbrellas and you would take care of the rest for him, making the food and grabbing a cooler full of drinks.

Jungkook was ecstatic at the idea and made sure to work extra hard this past week to give himself a day off to spend with you.

However, that did pose another problem for Jungkook as he left his home office to head back to his bedroom to make sure his beach bag was packed.

Sunscreen, towel, extra towel in case, his goggles for when he swam, his phone, a book Namjoon had told him he should read even though it had been three months since it had been loaned out to Jungkook and he still had not even opened it, a notebook and a pen in case a song idea came to him, headphones, sunglasses and lastly some of his favorite chips he was packing just in case.

While he was all packed and ready to go, there was still a big problem he was dealing with.

How was he supposed to deal with being around you while you were dressed in one of your many sundresses?

Somewhere online had dubbed it a “sundress summer” due to the humidity and the trend took off instantly. It seemed like everywhere he went girls were wearing these short cute sundresses because in their words it was too hot to wear pants.

You usually were not a trend follower as you opted to choose your own style but this was a trend you could get behind, and soon enough Jungkook found you wearing sundresses almost every day.

Soft blue ones with little bows on the straps, bright red ones with white flowers, and even some strapless ones that nearly made his eyes pop out of his head at the sight.

He genuinely didn’t think he would survive this summer if you kept up with this, especially since most of the sundresses were short and had a habit of billowing in the breeze making you grab the skirt and giggle.

The other big problem was you had no idea the turmoil Jungkook had been in all summer long.

You both were friends, growing up across the street from each other and hanging out almost every day. You went to the same grade school, and the same high school, and were inseparable. You supported his dreams of being an idol and he supported your goals and dreams too.

You had no idea that this was the summer that everything changed for him. When he realized that you were not just his best friend, but also a charismatic stunning woman who he started to gain a crush on.

Jungkook tried his best to keep the crush to himself. He didn’t want to lose you as a friend and it would be devastating to get rejected by you so he figured he would just keep it hidden and keep being your friend.

He would try his best not to scowl anytime a man came up to you and offered to buy you a drink. He would pretend it didn’t hurt when you would kiss strangers at the club wrapping your fingers through their hair and moaning against their lips.

He hated that when you dropped a guy because of whatever reason, his heart would do a little victory dance in his chest and he would try to look like a supportive friend and not a desperate loser who just wanted you to feel the same way about him as he did about you.

There were times though, when Jungkook was sure you felt….something.

How your eyes would linger when he took off his shirt. How you would always ask him to roll up his sleeve so you could look at the array of tattoos he had, how angry you got when that girl he really liked ghosted him a year ago.

There were times when he would also catch you staring at his lips. Just a quick downward flick of your eyes and in a blink it was gone.

But Jungkook noticed.

And he often wondered what would happen if he leaned in and kissed you.

Would he have read the entire situation wrong? Or would you kiss him back?

Jungkook shakes his head to rid him of these thoughts as he scoops everything up and puts it in his beach bag muttering to himself how he is being silly about this whole thing.

He is your friend.

And that’s that.

His phone vibrates on his dresser startling him, as he zips the bag closed and grabs it.

You: I have all the goods we need! I’m so excited for our beach day Kookie. Text me when you want me to head over. Might take a bit because of Saturday traffic.

Jungkook smiles at your pet name for him even though you have used it a million times and he quickly texts you back letting you know he was ready and you could come over whenever.

Jungkook’s vehicle had more storage space so you were going to drive to his place and he was going to drive to the beach. Plus his car had a sunroof which you absolutely adored and you often put your hands above your head like you were on a rollercoaster to feel the wind between your fingers.

It made him smile every time and made his heart pound in his chest.

Those were the moments of pure bliss where he felt his heart would burst out of his chest at all the feelings he had for you.

Feelings he was still trying to desperately hide.

Namjoon of course found out one night when Jungkook had one too many drinks and spilled his guts about it. Namjoon was patient with Jungkook as he told the entire story, how the crush came out of nowhere, and how he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t lose you. He wouldn’t lose you.

As always Namjoon was the voice of reason and told Jungkook just to talk to you about it and Jungkook shot that idea down right away.

Namjoon promised to keep his mouth shut until Jungkook was ready to tell you himself which Jungkook vowed he would never… ever do. Your friendship was very important. He would take this secret with him to the grave.

With nothing else to do until you arrived, Jungkook shucked his beach bag off his bed and laid down.

He threw an arm over his face and let out a frustrated groan.

How the hell was he supposed to survive having a beach day with you? You were so beautiful. So sexy in your little sundresses, seeing you in a bathing suit would destroy him.

His mind wandered to last week when you met him for a lunch break you forced him to have because he was working so hard that he started skipping meals.

You showed up to his studio with food in hand and a little black sundress with small white and pink flowers scattered all over it.

The straps were so tiny and delicate and tied together with small pink bows and Jungkook couldn’t help but stare, as you brushed past him to put the food on the small coffee table he kept in his studio.

As you leaned down the dress climbed higher up your body, exposing more of your legs and the apex of your thighs to his hungry gaze and he couldn’t help it.

The blood rushed to his cock so quickly he felt dizzy as he scrambled to sit on the couch before you noticed he popped a boner because of you in that damn sundress.

You didn’t seem to notice as you sat next to him and chatted about your day as you ate alongside him.

Jungkook tried to focus on what you were saying, he really did, but his eyes kept trailing down to your thighs and how tanned they looked due to all the time you spent outside.

What he wouldn’t give to pull that dress up higher and expose more of yourself to him. What would you do if he got his fingers between those legs? How would you sound moaning out his name as he plunges a finger inside?

Back in the present time Jungkook groaned and squeezed his eyes shut.

He could hardly hear the sounds of the lawnmower outside, or the kids screaming down the block as blood was pounding in his ears and he looked down with a grimace as he was hard in his swim trunks.

Achingly hard.

Just the memory of you in that dress alone made his cock fill rapidly and the bulge was evident as his cock stretched the material.

Now was not the time to pop a boner as you were going to be showing up soon but he felt like if he didn’t take care of it now it would never go down so he slowly lifted his hips to shuck off his swim shorts throwing them somewhere on the floor and freeing his aching cock.

His cock sat hard and heavy on his stomach as the head of it was a flushed red color. Jungkook took his time tracing his tattooed hand down his body, shivering when the air conditioning turned on, turning his nipples hard as he finally made his way to his cock.

He circled his cock which twitched in his hand and he got to work.

He threw his head back and imagined what would happen if he did lift your dress higher that day.

How you would stare at him all wide-eyed and shocked as he exposed your pussy. How you would be wet and throbbing for him. He would of course ask for permission before touching you and you would admit you’ve wanted this for ages.

Jumgkook sped up his movements on his cock, flicking his wrist over the cockhead and smearing his precum down his heated shaft. He always got so messy and wet when he imagined you and the glide felt amazing.

In his mind’s eye, you were grabbing his arm for support as his other hand explored your pussy. He would part your pussy lips so gently and you would be soaked for him. You would arch up into his fingers and beg for his touch as he would finally coat his finger in your wetness.

He would pop it into his mouth and taste you as you would whine and beg him for more.

The taste of you would explode on his tongue and he knew the second it touched his tongue it was over for him. He would never want to taste anyone else but you.

Jungkook sped up his movements once again as his muscles started to strain. He was getting close as his thumb flicked over his cockhead sending jolts of pleasure down his spine.

He would lay you back on the couch in his studio and fuck you open with one finger. You would be so wet for him, so needy for him. Your dress hiked up to expose yourself, one strap falling off your shoulder as you whine out his name.

Jungkook tightens his grip on his cock and begins to fuck up into his fist. His head is thrown back and his dark hair is a mess on his pillow. He bites his bottom lip to keep from whining your name out loud. His cock is throbbing in his hand, hot and hard and so desperate to release all over his twitching stomach.

He wants to make you cum apart all over his fingers. He wants to tease you, taste you, fill you up with his cock, and make you moan his name.

His hand speeds up as his hips fuck his cock wildly up into his hand.

Sweat is starting to form on his brow and he is close, so close he can feel his muscles tighten and his balls draw up. His cock is a sticky mess as he is leaking so much precum the glide is impeccable and the wet sounds are obscene.

“Y/N.” He groans unable to keep his noises contained as the muscles on his arms are bulging as he rubs his hand across his frenulum collecting the mess there to slide it down his shaft.

Jungkook can feel the beginning of his orgasm as he cries out your name and tightens his hand around his shaft jerking his cock quickly as the pressure builds.

He is right there.

His balls tighten, and he can feel his shaft contracting and spasming. His heart rate is rapid and the hair on his arms stands up.

“Kook?” He hears a soft small voice call and his eyes snap open as panic seizes his body. He released his cock to grab a pillow to cover himself as his head whips around to see you standing there in one of your sundresses looking horrified.

Holy fuck.

“Y/N!” He cries out, shoving the pillow over his cock which is still thrumming with need and twitching painfully as his orgasm is still just right there but you are also standing....right there.

He sits up against the headboard and puts a hand over his racing heart as he stares at you wide-eyed in absolute horror.

He was jerking off to you. His best friend. Moaning your name. And you walked in on him caught in the act.

Holy fuck he was so fucked.

“I-texted you to let you know I was here but you didn’t answer. I remembered where you keep the spare key so I-l-Let myself in.” You stammered unable to look away as Jungkook wished the bed and floor would swallow him hole.

You had driven over so excited to see Jungkook today and you even wore your best sundress just for him.

The pale blue one with the small bow in between the built-in cups.

You made sure to get all his favorite foods and snacks as you knew he had been working himself to death and you wanted to treat him.

He didn’t answer your knocks or your texts so you figured maybe he had his music on too loud once again and didn’t hear you.

You put the key in the door and were met with utter silence, which was a little weird but you figured he was in the back getting the umbrellas or something so you made your way through his apartment until you heard a noise.

A soft grunt that had you worried. Maybe he hurt himself? Maybe he was sick?

You flew to his bedroom and there he was.

All sprawled out on the bed with his shorts discarded on the floor. He was still wearing his white tee shirt and had his head thrown back against his pillows with his legs spread wide exposing himself to you.

You knew you should leave, you knew this was a private moment but you couldn’t help but stare as he worked his cock with his hand.

He was big and even from where you stood you could see how wet his cock was and how slick he sounded when he jerked it.

You knew you should step away, maybe stand outside until it was over but you were rooted to the spot as you watched his hips arch up and the filthiest moans leave his pink parted lips.

And when he moaned your name

Dear god when he moaned your name you felt your own arousal pool in your bikini shorts as you gripped the door for support.

Jungkook moaning your name.

He was fantasizing about you

He was the most gorgeous man you had ever met and he chose to fantasize about you when he jerked off.

The whole thing felt unreal.

“I-I- You… you weren’t supposed to-I didn’t mean for you to- fuck.” Jungkook stuttered as you put your bag down on the floor and entered his room.

His large dark eyes widened when you made your way to the bed and you could see his fingers flexing on the decorative pillow he threw over his lap to cover himself.

“I-fuck- I’m so sorry you probably h-h-ate me and think I’m a pervert- I-I can-explain.” He stammers cheeks flushed with the prettiest blush you had ever seen.

Jungkook continued to stammer out apologies as you stared down at him in shock. His hair was a sweaty mess on his forehead and his chest was heaving. You could see his muscles straining through the white material of his shirt and his hand held the pillow firmly over his cock.

Was he still hard?

Was he still horny?

Was he actually jerking off to you?

“Y/N please say something. Please.” He begs in a small voice as your eyes finally meet his and he looks in anguish over the whole thing.

“Were you…jerking off….to me?” You ask in awe as he flushes further and sits up higher on the bed.

His teeth bite into his lower lip as you sit softly on the edge of the bed.

“I-I can-I-” He stammers.

“Yes or No Jungkook?” You ask firmly.

His eyes widen and he nods. He hangs his head in shame and you feel your pussy throb.

Jungkook, your best friend, the guy you have had a crush on since high school was hot and bothered because of you.

It made you beam in excitement.

“Show me.” You say boldly as his eyes snap to yours and widen in shock.

“I-Uh- W-What?” He says.

“I want to see you finish. Or help you finish. Show me, Koo?” You plead as his tongue comes out to lick at his lip and the tension in the room is thick like the humidity outside.

“You don’t hate me? Or think I’m creepy? You’re not going to yell at me?” He says doe eyes wide as his hand twitches on the pillow again.

“Of course not. Masturbation is normal. I’m honored you’re even thinking of me in the first place.” You say as you slowly run your hand down his forearm.

“I died. I must have died or hit my head cause there is no way this is real. Holy fuck.” He mutters as you giggle and Jungkook can feel his cock, which had gone immediately soft at being caught, start to thicken behind the pillow.

“This is real. And I gotta admit. It’s hot as fuck you think of me when you touch yourself.” You admit as he blinks shyly at you.

“Can’t help it. These sundresses…fuck.” He says fingering the fabric of your dress before running a shaky hand through his long hair.

“Show me, Koo? Please.” You beg and he nods slowly as his teeth bite into his lower lip harshly.

“Don’t bite your lip Koo you’re gonna make yourself bleed.” You whisper as he lets out a breathy nervous laugh.

“Can’t help it. ‘m nervous.” He admits.

“No need to be nervous. It’s just me.”

“That’s the problem. The girl I’m fantasizing about is right in front of me wanting to see me jerk off. I’m so pent up I’m scared I’m gonna bust a nut all over this pillow.” He whimpers as you giggle.

“Then you better get to work. Show me? Please, Koo? Wanna see up close.”

He nods and removes the pillow baring his half-hard cock to you.

You gasp when you see it and Jungook covers his eyes in embarassment.

Even half-hard his cock is beautiful. The head is flushed a pretty pink color and there is a vein running up it that makes your mouth water.

“So pretty Koo.” You praise, as he removes his hands and stares at you in awe.

He slowly takes his cock in his hand and begins to jerk it. You watch as the flushed head disappears between his fist and how he takes his time with himself, flicking his wrist occasionally making pretty beads of precum leak out the slit.

It doesn’t take long for him to get to full hardness and he lets go of his cock to show you how it smacks against his stomach.

He is rock hard and leaking and the vein that winds up his cock is a lot more prominent now as the head of his cock is now a pretty flushed red color and shiny, so shiny.

“Fuck Koo you are so big.” You whimper as without warning you wrap your hand around his cock and his hips arch up into your touch as a broken moan spills from his lips.

“Can I?” You ask with a quirk of your eyebrow as he nods frantically and you snicker.

You take your time with him jerking him the way you saw him do to himself. You flick your wrist when you get to the top and you use your thumb to smear the precum over the head of his cock and his slit. He is so velvety and warm under your touch you let out a soft whine as you jerk him.

Jungkook is a mess below you. His chest is heaving, his muscles are straining and he is trying his best to hold back and not cum the second you get your hands on him.

“F-Fuck I hate to say this b-but ‘m close.” He whines in panic.

“Can you hold back a little longer so I can taste you?” You ask innocently as he bites his bottom lip and closes his eyes trying to take deep breaths and stop the incessant throbbing of his cock. His denied orgasm from earlier was making him needy and he needed to calm himself down before he made a mess all over your fist.

You lean down and slowly give the head of his cock kitten licks. Jungkook moans above you and you grin as you finally take him into your mouth.

Your mouth is hot and wet and everything Jungkook had ever wanted as you suck him down, bobbing your head and humming around him, causing vibrations to run up his shaft.

With your other hand, you jerk him, picking up speed as you suck him off and when your tongue flicks over his frenulum Jungkook is a goner.

He croaks out your name and holds back your hair as he cums down your throat. No warning could have pulled you off his cock as you swallow everything he has to give, slowing your strokes and milking his cock for all that he has.

“S-Sensitive. Fuck.” He whines out as you pull off and open your mouth to show him proudly that you swallowed it all.

“You are trying to kill me. Holy fuck.” He breathes out as you giggle and curl up next to him, lacing your fingers together and waiting for him to come down from his high.

You can feel the uncomfortable wetness between your thighs but you don’t worry about that now as you bury your face in his chest and listen to his breathing settle.

“I’m dead. Like I’m actually dead. No way that happened.” He pondered as you giggle and pinch his side

“Ouch! What was that for!” He cries out as you sit up and smirk at him.

“Dead people can’t feel pinches. You are very much alive.” You say smiling down at him as sits crisscrossed on the bed and stares at you.

“You-You jerked me off.” He says

“I did.” You reply with a smug smile.

“I- I imagined I was fingering you and suddenly you were here…jerking me off.” He wonders aloud.

“Mm, you fingering me. That’s hot,” you say feeling your pussy throb.

“But we were friends aren’t we?” He asks in a small timid voice.

“Friends can jerk each other off. Though... I would like to be more than friends.” You reply feeling your heart racing in your chest.

“Like…fuck buddies?” He replies as his tongue comes out to lick at his lips and you can’t help but laugh.

“I was thinking we could go on a date.”

His eyes bulge and his cheeks turn a beautiful dusty pink.

“I’ve liked you for years now Koo. I didn’t think you felt the same but walking in on you… moaning my name…. Fuck.” You say running a hand through your hair.

Jungkook doesn’t respond.

And for a breath, you are worried you read the whole thing wrong and fucked this friendship up.

But then he leans forward, tangles his hands in your hair, and kisses you.

And you kiss him right back.

The kiss is passionate and wild. You press your lips hard into his and pour out all those days and weeks and months of looking at him and wishing he was yours. Jungkook moans against your mouth which gives you access to swipe your tongue along his lower lip as he groans.

“Fuc-Fuck I feel the same way.” He mutters against you as he flips you over with ease and has you pinned to the bed.

You giggle when you look up and see him overtop of you, his eyes wide with disbelief and his lips red and swollen.

He swoops in and kisses you again as you run your hands down his strong back and arch up into his touch. His lips move with yours and you boldly wrap your legs around his back to push his crotch into yours making him grunt against your mouth.

“Let me make you feel good.” He groans as you nod.

Jungkook fixes the pillows behind your head and gets to work peppering kisses on your cheeks and down your neck causing you to arch up into his touch and moan.

You are beyond needy at this point and when he tugs at the straps of your dress to kiss at your shoulders you moan out his name and flutter your eyes closed.

His lips feel like heaven and when he finally had enough kissing he kneels above you and you open your eyes.

“I never thought this day would come. You in a sundress, laying in my bed. Fuck I’m the luckiest guy alive.” He says as you smile up at him with adoration.

Jungkook’s warm hands come to rest on your thighs and he slowly and carefully lifts up your dress to expose your body to him.

His eyes widen when he takes in the black bathing suit bottoms you picked out which are modest enough for the beach but have two tantalizing ties at the sides holding the material together.

“Thank god I got you in my bed. It would have been so difficult seeing you in these bottoms without getting hard.” He admits as his hand toys with the ties and when he finally unties them both and pulls the fabric off of your body you are panting below him.

You snicker when you see his cock bobbing between his legs at the sight of you and he wraps a hand around himself to stroke his cock to ease some of the ache.

“Hey, you already got your turn!” You tease as he releases his cock and grins sheepishly at you.

“May I?” He asks and you nod, sucking your bottom lip between your teeth as his fingers part your folds and he swears under his breath.

“Fucking soaked for me. Just like I imagined.”

He gathers your wetness and brings it up to your clit as he rubs you in slow circles causing you to arch off the bed and whine out his name.

Jungkook continues to circle your clit agonizingly slow and he snickers when you beg him for more.

“How are we going to have sex and make it to the beach if you're going this slow.” You say as his eyes widen and his movements halt.

“Koo.” You whine as you grab at his wrist to get him to do something…anything.

“You want to have sex?” He asks shyly as you stare down at him.

“I’d like to. Only if you want to though. I’m okay with this too.” You admit as you see his cock twitching between his legs again.

“I want to have sex with you.” He says as he pulls you in for another rough kiss and his hands return to your pussy with enthusiasm.

“Can I slip a finger inside? Gotta prep you for my cock.” He growls against your lips as you nod and he gathers more wetness on his middle finger before slipping it inside your tight wet heat.

You cry out his name and grab onto his bicep as he thrusts his finger in and out of your body. He wastes no time adding another finger and the stretch makes you whine but he is careful and takes his time until you are moaning again and begging him to move.

He scissors his fingers causing you to flutter your eyes closed and arch up into his touch. Your whole body is on fire and when he curls his fingers you feel every muscle in your body start to tense as you grind down on them desperate for more.

You blindly reach down for his cock which is now standing hard and proud and when you circle it Jungkook hisses and uses his free hand to swat yours away.

You open your eyes to frown at him but he curls his fingers up inside you again and you are seeing stars.

“I’ll cum if you jerk me off Y/N. I swear this is so hot I’m so fucking hard right now. Don’t wanna cum around your fist.” he explains as you grin.

“Then fuck me and cum inside me instead.” You offer as he removes his fingers and you open your eyes in time to see him pop them in his mouth.

You gasp as he licks your slick off his fingers moaning at the taste and your pussy throbs impatiently as he takes his time.

“Koo please.” You beg as he finally gets his fingers clean and he hops off the bed to retrieve a condom.

You watch as he rips open the packet and rolls the condom down his length. He strokes himself and whimpers, which makes you smile to know he is just as desperate as you are

“How do you want it?” He asks hovering above you, lips inches from your own.

“Doesn’t matter just want you.”

He carefully drags your body to the end of the bed and you giggle when he opens your legs and wraps them around his torso.

You stare up at him as he takes his time to tie back his hair.

“Koo. Don’t tease.” You whine impatiently as he finally gets his hair tied back and he grabs the base of his cock to position himself at your wet folds.

“I’m gonna be honest with you. I don’t know how long I’m gonna last.” He admits as he teases your slit with his cockhead soaking it in your wetness and you whine out in impatience.

“I don’t care about you lasting. Just fuck me already before I do it myself.” You beg as he finally slips his cockhead inside and in one smooth thrust he buries himself as deep inside of you as he can go.

You squeeze your eyes shut and wince at the stretch and Jungkook leans down to press soft kisses to your forehead and cheeks.

“Doing so well for me. Deep breaths now. So fucking tight around my cock. You are so wet for me. Fuck you feel heavenly.” He praises as he shallowly thrusts inside of you letting your body adjust to his girth and giving you all the time you need.

“Baby, are you already throbbing around me?” He teases as you open your eyes to playfully smack his arm and he shoots you his classic bunny smile.

“Sh-Shut up.” You plead as he begins to give you harder and deeper thrusts and your eyes roll to the back of your head.

He feels so good inside of you. The way his cock drags against your walls has you crying out his name and when he starts to really thrust deep you swear you can feel him in your stomach.

“Fu-Fuck Koo. Feel so good.” You cry out as he holds your legs steady and thrusts his cock inside you, arching his hips so he can hit your G-spot with every thrust.

“Wh-Why are you so good at this what the fuck?” You grit out as he chuckles above you and pushes your legs higher so he can hit deeper inside of you.

“Are you a-actually mad at me for being good at sex?” He taunts you as you decide to get back at him by squeezing his cock with your walls which makes him grunt and fuck you harder and faster.

“No, I’m m-mad we waited so long to do this. Fuck.”

Jungkook picks up speed on his thrusts all the while you are powerless on the bed as you take what he gives you. You claw at the bedspread and moan his name as you feel the coil of pleasure get tighter in your stomach and by the way Jungkook is thrusting you know he is close too.

“C-Close. Koo. Please. M-More.” You beg not even able to make a coherent sentence but lucky for you Jungkook knows what you mean as he brings a free hand down to rub at your clit and you cry out his name and grind down on his cock desperately trying to meet his thrusts and chase your ever building high.

Your whole body is on fire, everything is strung tight and you can feel your pussy start to spasm around his cock.

“C-Close.” You cry out in warning as he thrusts into you with such force it pushes you up the bed.

“Cum for me Y/N. Cum around my cock. Be a good girl and cum for me.” He demands and you lose it.

You arch up and close your eyes as you shout out his name and cum hard around his cock. You feel your walls clamp around him as Jungkok groans and throws his head back cumming hard into the condom as your walls keep his cock from thrusting inside of you.

Waves of pleasure roll off you both as Jungook releases your legs and slumps down over top of you keeping his cock inside until you are done riding out your high.

The only sounds in the room are both of your heavy breathing as he finally slips out and leaves to go get cleaned up.

You feel weightless as you lay on the bed and press a hand to your heart as you try to even out your breathing.

Jungkook comes back with water and a warm towel and takes his time opening your legs and cleaning you up as you stare at the ceiling in a post-sex haze.

He lays down beside you and you curl up into his chest as he strokes your hair and praises you for how well you did.

There is a welcome ache between your legs from how roughly he fucked you but you find you don’t mind too much as he wraps his arms around you caging you against his chest.

“That was incredible.” He says as you finally open your eyes to look at him.

His hair was coming out of its bun and tendrils were falling in front of his eyes. You reach up to push them away and smile. He was so handsome.

“That was very incredible holy shit we shouldn’t have waited so long.” You say as you both hear a noise outside and look up to see the sky had grown dark and a heavy rain was coming down.

“Oh shit.” You giggle as you both sit up and stare at the rainstorm outside.

“Guess no beach day for us.” He says smoothing down your hair as you lean in to kiss him softly.

“How about a movie day instead? I still brought snacks and drinks.” You say as he nods and carries you off the bed to the living room and you giggle the entire way.

Permanent taglist

@caught-in-the-afterglow

@hearteyes4hobi

@m00njinnie

@stayonmars

@marihoneywk

@mustbeaweasleyginger

@xmspurple7x

@taekritimin123

@lerasi

@dejaariana

[daycourtofficial]

The Shadows Want You to be Happy

Summary: Azriel’s shadows overhear a conversation where you doubt Azriel’s true intentions, and they urge him to rectify the situation.

Author’s note: this is just pure fluff baby! Pure unadulterated fluff. Go to the dentist! Also I didn’t proofread this, so enjoy at your own caution!

His shadows didn’t mean to spy on you, they promise. They just liked keeping an eye on you at all times.

Azriel had no idea why his shadows seemed to adore you so much - well, he could understand it, because he adored you just as much as his shadows did. But he can’t figure out why - they don’t like being around Elain, but most of the others the shadows just watch.

Not you, though. Whenever you two are in the same room his shadows roam over you, greeting an old friend. If he’s been away for a days on a mission, they spend several minutes swirling around you, seemingly doting on you, like they’re asking “are you okay? Did you eat while we were gone? Did you sleep?”

A few shadows have taken it upon themselves to stay stationed with you at all times. He thinks they have a schedule, out of jealousy and need to share their time with you, but they don’t really tell him too much about what they see. The most they’ll tell him is if you haven’t eaten in a while or that time they told him about you having a cold and not wanting anyone to find out. He spent three days in your apartment with you, feeding you soup and taking care of you.

His shadows absolutely do not tell him the things you say or how you’re feeling, or so he thought. Both of the shadows that were asking as your bodyguards came to him, like little kids with a story to tell.

-

You were laying on the couch in the library with Feyre, engrossed in your independent books. The two of you do this weekly, enjoying each other’s presence without much social obligation. Sometimes the two of you will talk, but it’s often followed by long, comfortable silences. Just when you thought the silence was going to stay for a while, Feyre spoke up.

“so, sweetie, how are things with you and Azriel?” She asks, closing her book to turn to you.

Your cheeks heat immediately. “Um,” you say, closing your book to turn to her, knowing that she won’t relent until she gets what she wants out of this conversation.

You had kept your feelings for him mostly to yourself, except one drunken night a few weeks ago you had told Feyre about how pretty he was. You thought she might have forgotten about it, but this conversation is telling you she wants more. Thank the mother it wasn’t Rhys or Cas you had told that to - they would have mocked your word choice of “devastatingly pretty” for years.

“Well, we have plans to go out tonight,” you reply, very nervous about opening up to Feyre. She looked at you, her face asking for you to continue. “We’re trying all of the bakeries in Velaris to see who has the best pastries and hot chocolate, so once a week we try a new one and gorge ourselves on baked goods and chocolate.”

Feyre smiled at how absolutely adorable that was. “Are these… dates?” she asks, smiling at how absolutely oblivious the two of you were.

“We call them dates,” you reply.

“Do you two do anything physical? You don’t have to be gratuitous with details, I’m not Mor.” Feyre says, shuddering thinking of Mor grilling you for details on if the two of you have had sex yet.

“Um well the bakeries are usually cozy so we usually are tucked away in a corner, pressed up together. In one of them we had to wait for a table, so he just wrapped his wings around me while we waited.” You told her, grinning at the memory of his body heat.

“Do you two ever kiss?”

You sink a little further into the couch, your cheeks blazing with heat now, your hands covering your face as you say, “yes”.

“Has there been more than kissing?”

Feyre watches the head hiding behind youe hands nod ever so slightly and squeals. She actually squeals.

The people of Velaris love to gossip with her, and when she heard rumors of two of her friends being spotted around town looking very coupley, she decided to investigate. It also doesn’t help that the Inner Circle has a betting pool on when you ans Azriel will get together. Her bet was this week, so she’s doing what she can to win. And because she wants the two of you to be happy. And because Cassian bet that you two would be together next week, and she can’t lose to him, his gloating is atrocious.

“So, you two are together?” She asks, practically bouncing in her seat.

“I’m not sure,” you say, “honestly I’m a little worried that this means more to me than it does to him.” You look down at your hands, “I don’t really do casual dating, and I’m a little worried that this is just a fling to him. It’s really incredible and hot and sweet and all but.” You look around to see if anyone is listening before you whisper, “honestly, it would break my heart if this was just casual for him.”

Feyre was shocked at how sad you looked at the idea of being something casual to Az. She knew the two of you were head over heels for each other, they all knew that, but you looked devastated.

“Sweetie,” she says, trying her best to console you, “there is no way that that male views you or anything to do with you as ‘casual’.“

“Are you sure?” You ask, hesitation lacing your every word.

“Absolutely. He lights up whenever you’re around and I’ve never seen him miss a function you’re at.”

You thank your friend for the reassurances and settle back into your respective books. You knew that Azriel’s shadows often followed you around, even without him being anywhere nearby. He once told you that they find you adorable. However, you didn’t realize that the two who were stationed with you left very quickly after your discussion with Feyre.

-

The shadows relayed the whole story to him, in part because they, like the inner circle, want the two of you together. But also because they understand that you were upset and Azriel could fix it.

Azriel was more shocked at the insistence from them to make you less upset - usually they are just uninvolved observers, simply passing along information to him, allowing him to draw his own conclusions. The way those shadows spoke to him you’d think that they were in charge of him.

He met you outside of your apartment later that night, dressed in an all black casual outfit. “Ready?” He asks, extending his arm out for you to take. You lock the door behind him, straightening your coat before taking his arm.

The two of you start these dates off by walking through Velaris. Winter has just begun and there’s a light falling of snow covering the two of you.

“What’d you get up to today? I haven’t seen you since breakfast,” he asks you, not-so-subtly reminding you that you were, in fact, his breakfast, before he left your apartment this morning.

“I spent most of the day in the library with Feyre, reading a few books, doing some research. I had to get out of there, the words were all starting to blend together,” you reply, nuzzling into his arm to retain some of his heat, despite his jacket covering his arms.

“Mm, well then I guess you could consider me you’re handsome knight, off to whisk you away for an evening of delicacies in your time of need,” he retorts.

You chuckle and begin to speak, not stopping yourself before blurting, “why are you only like this with me? Don’t get me wrong, I love this side of you, but you only show it to me. Why’s that?”

Azriel stops your walk to stand in front of you, “ignoring your recent declaration of love,” you huff, “I just.. feel different around you.”

The look he’s giving you makes your knees go weak. He’s looking into your eyes with deep, raw honesty, like he wants you to see inside his soul.

“I love my family, despite their best efforts to annoy me into murdering them,” he says. You giggle. “But you’re.. different. The way I feel about you is different. I thought I loved Mor, but I didn’t. I loved the idea of saving her, of being her knight.” He sighs, unbelieving that he’s spilling all of this to you out in public. Luckily the other pedestrians just ignore the two of you, out of kindness or fear of him, he’s not sure. He pulls you into a quiet little alley, in the hopes to retain some privacy.

“It was stupid, but I thought I could save the girl and we’d live happily ever after. Then I met you. When I was a kid, I always wanted someone to come rescue me, and I thought that that was how you fall in love. But it’s not. I didn’t need to save you to love you. After this big revelation about myself, I took some time to really think about what I want. It’s why a few weeks back everyone thought I went to check on the war camps. Well, I did check on them, but I spent most of the time thinking. And I want you, no rescuing required. Though if you’d have me, I’d rescue you from anything. A bad day, my annoying family, the flu, anything. I’m not sure how clear my intentions have been, I figured showing you off around Velaris was enough, but I guess not.”

He paused, a mixture of nerves and intense determination radiating off of him.

“I haven’t thought about another person since I met you. I haven’t even considered looking at anyone else. Rhys has started calling me a puppy, because I follow you around everywhere, and I don’t care. I’ve never been so public with anyone, not giving a damn who sees or what they think, because I want them to know that you’re with me. I want everything you’ll give me.”

You’re stunned. It’s so quiet, you can hear the snow falling. It’s as if the world has gone silent to hear what you’ll say.

“Anything I’ll give you?” You say, a smirk crossing your face, wanting to draw out his confession a bit more.

“Anything.”

“Even if I snore?” You ask.

He laughs, “you don’t snore. You’re actually quite adorable when you’re asleep, hate to break it to you.”

“Hmm,” you say, stroking your finger on your chin, looking quizzical. “Guess you’ll just have to get used to my adorable sleeping, because if you’re accepting it, I’m giving you everything.”

He leans down, capturing your laugh with his lips, his shadows dancing around the two of you in excitement.

He pulls away after several minutes, laughing at the groan coming from your lips, “did you know that the idiots have a bet about us?”

He begins again after seeing your confused face, “If we’re together this week, Feyre wins the betting pool. Next week is Cassian.”

“Oh!” You exclaim, “that’s why she wanted us to be together so badly! Hm, maybe we should let Feyre win, because Cassian would be-

“Unbearable.” You both say in unison.

“When should we tell them? And how?” You ask.

“Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow we can just have sex on the dining room table, that’ll send the message loud and clear.” He says, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

You swat his arm, “no, we’re better than Cassian and Nesta. Maybe we should have a banner made. It’ll say “we had sex!” And point down to us.”

He chuckles, grabbing your arm again and steering you towards the bakery, as the two of you contemplate how to tell your family the news that will make them all so incredibly happy.

[erinwantstowrite]

Erin I have a question ⁉️

How did you start writing LoF? Like,.not writing it in general, I mean like how did you get—or learned—or studied—all the information regarding the Batfam and their backgrounds, and also about Peter and the Avengers, etc.

Currently, I'm honestly planning on writing a small fiction about Peter ending up in Gotham (You must know your words hold a very dangerous power to inspire) but unfortunately, I don't have the right information to actually START writing it TT_TT. Do you have any tips on how I can start?

(P.S Apologies if this sounds a little confusing, I am not entirely the best at explaining 😞🤞)

There's one person to blame for getting me into DC, and it's @alighterwood

I've always been a fan of Spider-Man. He was my first hero, I wanted to be him soooo bad. I had gotten around to sort of writing my own fic for it with my own version of Peter around last year? (Very much inspired by ITSV, LoF Peter came about because he's his own universe and is based on Spider-Man lore from multiple media versions). I had never thought about writing a Spider-Man fic until ATSV, but at the time I was pretty much dead set on rewriting VLD. I got inspired after rewatching ITSV and then watching ATSV.

But it wasn't until alighterwood got me reading their favorite Batfam fics (specifically Tim) that I started to enjoy Batfam or DC in general.

(My favorite Batfam fic is "The Lone Ranger Never Had to Deal with Bruce Wayne" )

From there I started branching out into learning more about Batfam, what is and isn't fanon, and forming my own opinions. It was a natural progression into "I want my favorite characters to meet each other" and alighterwood's evil genius plan ended up working.

I've read a few comics (mostly the Red Robin series, because Tim was my intro to Batfam so I figured I'd start there) but most of my information?

Wikis, reddits, forums from years (a few of them from decades) ago, my father (who was a Batman fan as a kid) and his friends (my uncles, who were all DC and Marvel nerds), my own friends- basically anything I can get my hands on. If I had a question, it was (probably) answered somewhere, or there was someone else with the same question that made me feel better for not getting it. The internet has a BOATLOAD of information about both Marvel and DC.

It's a LOT of research and note taking, to be honest. I have a physical notebook where I take notes on lore so I don't forget it. I comb through fanon AND canon and I decide from there what I want and what I don't want/what doesn't work and what does work for what I'm writing.

But here's something to keep in mind: at the end of the day, you're not writing FOR anyone else. You're not out to please people who are 100% canon, all the time, nor are you trying to accommodate people who only read fanon material. You're writing for YOU. This part is fun for me, but could be very tedious for other people. I'm a little weird like that (I started writing essays for fun since I learned about them in school).

I like doing research. Like a lot of writers, I go down multiple rabbit holes a day. I start by googling a simple question that should take five minutes and then I see something and go "oh! What's this!?" and pick it up, and the cycle continues when I see something else and eventually remember that I was writing.

I enjoy the research and figuring out the balance. Because DC and Marvel do the same shit with their own works! Shit gets retconned, or they bring characters back from the dead, blah blah blah. The fun part for me IS going insane trying to figure out the Flash Family and their STUPID family tree, or learning about characters that were basically forgotten by everyone- even the writers. The best part is that since it's my fic I'm writing, I can go: "What's the most entertaining way I can use this?" And no one can stop me.

But if YOU don't enjoy that part, and you try to do it, you might lose your spark!! Your inspiration!! You might not have fun, and that's what writing is all about!! My thing is, is that basically every fan interpretation, whether they try to stick to the original source as closely as they can or not, IS FANON. And fanon is fun!!

Basically it all stems down to: it's your sandbox and you can play in there however you want to. And sometimes, people see what you're doing and they're like "Can I play too?" and you're like "Yes that'd be awesome!!"

If you find that you do enjoy the research, I think it's well worth it. It's very satisfying to put together all that work and then get a comment from someone where they say "OMG!! I know that reference!" or "I love this interpretation of this very obscure thing!!"

My advice for writing a Peter in Gotham fic is to know where YOU are starting at, before you start writing your fic. If you're a Spider-Man fan and you don't know much about the Batfam, try reading a comic about them, or find some favorite fics and base your information on that. It works vice-versa, if you know more about Batfam and not a lot about Peter.

Imagine there are two people sitting in front of you. One is a Marvel fan, the other is a DC fan, and they know NOTHING about the other comics. But they both want to hear your story where you have combined them. It's important that you don't lean too much into either side: you keep both of their interest by appreciating the details from both DC and Marvel.

The Marvel fan will be happy to see Peter reacting to a new world and situations, even if they don't know everything you're referencing. But the DC fan will be excited because you care about the place that Peter is interacting with enough to make a joke that maybe only they would get.

So: have fun, explore everywhere you want to, and get a little crazy. Don't worry too much about not knowing everything there is to know. I don't know everything about DC or Marvel either!

[oliveee-star]

Imagine if Sirius got back from Azkaban early and met Draco for the first time.

Everyone was under the impression that Black had just recently escaped Azkaban and was trying to murder Harry Potter, a third year student at Hogwarts.

Of course, this wasn't true. Sirius had been let out of Azkaban and proven innocent when Harry was five, around Lily's birthday. For a whole month after he was released, he was a free man and all seemed to be well. That was before he ran into Lucius and Narcissa in Diagon Alley, where he had gone to find a copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them—he wanted to read up on werewolves again since he had forgotten most of his Hogwarts days in Azkaban, where he originally learned about werewolves, obviously.

"Sirius," Narcissa said, in shock, hatred, and despite the latter—a hint of happiness as she saw her cousin for the first time in five years. To the side, Lucius lightly grabbed a young boy's shoulder—around five as well, at the time—and pulled him behind him. The boy was blonde, with grey eyes the exact color of the bars blocking Sirius from the world when he was in Azkaban; a spitting image of his father, though Sirius recognized the innocence and slight fear in the boy's eyes to be the same as Narcissa's.

"You never told me I had a second cousin," he said, his voice suddenly a bit hoarse.

Narcissa inhaled sharply, stiffening slightly before she swallowed and looked to Lucius. He was staring daggers at her. She turned back to Sirius, using the best 'you're dead to me' voice she could muster to say, "You don't."

The boy peeked out from behind his father, holding onto his hand which was also holding his cane. He tugged on his mother's cardigan. "Mum, who is that?" He babbled, pointing to Sirius.

"No one, Draco," Lucius interjected, putting an arm around his son in a protective manner.

"Yeah... No one," Sirius said, though his heart had dropped to his stomach. He quickly grabbed Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them on the shelf and took it out. "I should be going now. Andy needs to be fed and Remus always forgets"—Andy was Sirius's and Remus's cat, named after Andromeda.

Sirius began to walk off. "Nice to see you, Cissy. Best wishes," he mumbled, buying the book and apparating away.

Back home, Sirius fed Andy and cuddled with Remus the rest of the afternoon. He didn't bother to say anything about his exchange with the Malfoy family.

Around 8 years later, Remus had landed a job at Hogwarts. Before this, he had had much trouble finding a job, so he was incredibly grateful for Dumbledore's kindness. Though he wasn't sure people wanted a werewolf teaching their children... they didn't need to know if he was. As he taught a class, he let a few words slip. "You know, this is the spell my husband uses when he's trying to protect the house-"

He was suddenly cut off by a chorus of students exclaiming, "husband?!"

"Er... Sorry, I didn't-"

"Who're you married to?" Ron Weasley asked.

"Oh, well my darling Sirius-" Remus started, before realizing he wasn't supposed to be telling them this. He and Sirius had decided to keep their marriage and where they lived on the low—mostly because Sirius was an "escaped convict" (as said by Lucius Malfoy after the exchange 8 years ago, to which the Ministry agreed out of fear of what Lucius could do), and the fact the Remus was a werewolf teaching at a magic school. The same magic school Sirius was supposed to be sneaking around in order to kill Harry Potter. In reality, Sirius had been staying with Hagrid and helping Remus with transformations in the Whomping Willow.

"Sirius Black?" Both Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy asked at the same time, and then the class went completely silent.

[hugmeimtouchdeprived]

COD Bakery AU

I can't, for the life of me, come up with names/titles for anything I write (tips and suggestions are more than welcome!)

Content warning: None (I don't think?), other than that this is very, very self-indulgent :)

Also that I'm just not going to have a specific plan for this, just writing when I feel like I need to write something fluffy and not stress about it (although I do have some minor plots in mind, but we'll see!)

Pairing: Johnny "Soap" MacTavish x fem!reader

The first time he comes in is in autumn, early September.

You’re putting a freshly decorated cake in the display case when you hear the bell chime above the door, notice the tall figure approaching the cash register.

And boy oh boy, does he leave you speechless for a moment.

Tall and muscular, with a slight tan like he’s just come from a vacation or something, messy mohawk on his head, dark shirt tight around his muscles. You can tell those aren’t just for show, either.

“What can I get for you?” you just manage to get the words out as you walk up to the register, pen and paper in hand to take his order.

“I’m lookin’ to buy something for my mam,” he responds, looking at the cakes and pastries on display, as if he’s examining each and every one. “What’s this one? A strawberry cheesecake?”

“Strawberry and lemon. The one next to it is blackcurrant and white chocolate,” you point at the white and blue cheesecake. The man nods.

“A couple slices of both of the cheesecakes, please,” he smiles at you. You tell him the total and start putting his order in a white box, making sure to keep them upright.

“Is there a special occasion?” you ask, trying to fill the silence.

He shakes his head. “Nae, just been gone for work for a couple months, mam’s been worried sick. Wanted to bring her sort of a peace offering,” he says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Ah. Well, these should calm the storm, then,” you chuckle, tying a ribbon around the box before handing it to him. “I wish you luck. Hope she likes sweets.”

He laughs. God, how can a person be so attractive? It’s not fair, the way his blue eyes twinkle as his lips curl upwards.

The man takes the box, his fingers brushing against yours briefly. Enough to make your heart flutter slightly. He gives you another smile before leaving.

The second time you see him is only a few days later. You’d almost forgotten about him; it was mostly his looks that had caught your attention. Otherwise, he seemed to be just a regular customer amongst the others. You don’t even know his name.

You’re joined by your boss this time. An older man, who inherited the bakery from his parents a decade ago. The bakery is fairly small, with only one other employee working there besides you and the owner. You prefer the days when you’re either working alone or paired with Ava.

Ava, only a couple years older than you, is sweet. She does most of the baking when she’s in, but always encourages you to bake and decorate things, especially if you express even the slightest interest in trying something new. Always giving you tips and complimenting the things you make.

Your boss, Brent, is the opposite. You can tell he’s not used to actually having employees, used to working alone for most of that decade he’s been in business. You and Ava were both hired mostly because the business started to eventually take off, way more than Brent had anticipated, so he hired the two of you to keep up.

“What the hell is that?” he asks, looking at the apple pastries you’re currently sprinkling powdered sugar on top of.

“The apple pastries you asked me to make yesterday,” you respond quietly.

“Looks like shit.” Brent has never been one to hold his tongue, always finding something to complain or whine about. You and Ava often compare him to Gordon Ramsay, except even he’s actually nice to his employees, from what you’ve heard.

Besides, Brent has openly admitted to not even enjoying baking; he’s only here because it’s what he has left of his parents, which is admittedly admirable. But the man bakes only when he has to, otherwise making you or Ava do it.

You just nod your head at his insults; sometimes it’s just best to roll over and show your belly, so to speak.

“Smells good in here,” a voice comes from behind you, behind the cash register.

Both you and Brent turn at the same time, seeing the same Scotsman from a few days ago.

“Looks good, too. Those for sale yet? I’d like to have one,” he continues, pointing at the pastries in front of you. Brent rolls his eyes at you and waves his hand, motioning for you to take care of it, before disappearing in the back room again.

“For your mum again?” you ask with a smile on your face.

“Nae, just for me this time. And a coffee, for here, please.”

You go about charging him for the order, before sending him off to take a seat wherever he’d like, that you’ll bring everything once it’s ready.

You place the pastry onto a plate with a dollop of whipped cream on the side, pour the coffee into a cup and bring it on a tray to the man, setting everything in front of him on the table.

He pays and takes a seat near the large window at the front of the bakery, with a direct view of the small kitchen behind the register. The bakery used to be someone’s home ages before it became a business, with a bit of a yard at the front with outdoor seating in summer and a few parking spaces. Perks of being located more on the outskirts of the city.

Unlike many other bakeries and cafes, the kitchen isn’t hidden somewhere where customers can’t see; it’s right behind the cash register, so customers can easily see whatever is being made or decorated.

“Mam really loved the cakes, by the way,” he tells you before you can turn and walk away. “She really wanted me to bring her here sometime, had to sneak out of the house just to come today.”

 “Why not bring her today?” you ask curiously.

“Eh, she can be a lot sometimes. I can too, so I thought you wouldn’t want to deal with both of us,” he explains with a laugh.

You take a quick look at his attire. Not to ogle or anything, it’s just hard not to steal a glance at the stranger. It looks like he was going for a run, you assume that was his excuse for his mum.

“I’m Johnny, by the way,” he finally introduces himself. Johnny. So that's his name.

You tell him your name in turn, which he repeats under his breath. You like how it sounds coming from him, with that accent.

“Well, as much as I’d like to continue chatting, I have to get back to work. Hope you like it,” you tell him, motioning towards the pastry in front of him before returning to your duties, before your boss can get a chance to complain.

Johnny’s eyes linger on you as you work, hustling behind that counter, trying to keep up with everything even as a large group arrives just as you’re pulling two cakes out of the oven and trying to get two more in.

He enjoys moments like this, even if he’s not one to go out for coffee very often. Prefers his coffee in the quiet of his own apartment, or sometimes at his mother’s house if she insists he come over when he’s on leave.

Johnny even gains the courage to leave his phone number on the receipt for you, when you inevitably come to clear the table after he’s left. How could he not? You’re too pretty for your own good in his eyes, too good to resist. Plus, this way he doesn’t feel like he’s pressuring you into anything; you can just toss the receipt into the trash if you’re not interested.

It's such a shame that it’s your boss who ends up clearing the table when Johnny eventually leaves, eyeing the receipt and the number and the “Text me! -Johnny” scribbled onto it before discarding it himself, not giving you a chance to see it.

Thank you so much for reading! Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated!🌷

[redwhitebuddie]

this is a part two to this post, can be read solo but i recommend reading this first.

the party is in full swing. their friends surrounding them, most of them set up in the living from and a smaller more introverted group gathered in the dining room.

steve never knew what a good community could truly do for him as living in hawkins was clearly not a place where someone like steve could thrive.

he hid for so long, but here in boston its so different. they have this amazing group of friends, 90% of which are like him and eddie. and the other 10% support them endlessly.

he looks around and sees robin and nancy curled up on a chair in the corner, talking to their friend jasmine who is sitting on the floor, the two of them with wide smiles. because him and her have telepathy, robin looks over at him them. he throws her a quick wink.

he can hear david's laugh from the other room and can smell the bouquet of flowers sitting on the coffee table that andrew brought.

he can feel the slight hint of eddie's bare skin between his jeans and his shirt where steve's hand it resting.

steve has friends. steve has a loving partner. steve is content.

steve also has his ex-best friend sitting on the other side of couch with whom he has not spoken yet.

they exchanged pleasantries, and him and eddie have chatted with michael plenty. michael was a handsome guy. probably late 20s/early 30s, dirty blonde hair with a middle part, and generic clothes aside from the round glasses on his face; steve could appreciate that. he wasn't steve's taste but he could tell he was an objectively attractive person.

he and tommy made an attractive couple, the two of them seemingly comfortable with each other. steve was happy for tommy, even though their friendship didn't end on good terms, he was glad tommy found himself.

steve must have been in his own head for a while as he just felt eddie poking him where he sat to his left, "babe? you okay?"

steve smiled, "yeah yeah im good," he leaned into kiss the juncture of eddies jaw.

"alright, good," eddie smiled back at him and batted his lashes, "would you be a doll and toss some of the beer bottles in the recycle?"

"yeap."

eddie smiled again, "love youuuuu."

steve started gathering the bottles on the coffee table, quickly finding that there were too many bottles for him to take at once. steve just shrugged it off and planned to make another trip back up to the apartment from the recycle bin until he heard a voice perk up, "here, i'll help."

it was tommy, he was picking up the remaining bottles.

"ok, uh- thanks."

steve and tommy walked out of the apartment making their way down the few flights of stairs into the alley with the recycle bin. it was quiet, neither of them even attempting to make small talk.

but being around eddie for the last decade has made him uncomfortable with silence, "so uh, how'd you meet michael?"

they walked side by side by side, opening and shutting the lid of the bin, disposing of the bottles, "we met in college, he was in my american archaeology class my junior year. we were friends for a while and started dating like three years ago."

steve nodded, "oh that's nice, he seems like a good guy."

there was a lull again. they walked up the stairs, and as they were making their way up the last flight tommy speaks up, "hey listen steve, i know its too little too late and it was over a decade ago, but i just wanted to say that i'm really sorry about all the shit i did while we were friends. i know it doesn't mean much but i was just not happy with myself so i uh- took it out on you and that was shitty so i'm, yeah i'm sorry."

they had stalled on the landing of the staircase right outside of his and eddie's apartment.

steve fully did not expect an apology from tommy. honestly he had mostly forgotten about him, he hadn't been back to hawkins in four years since wayne officially moved to rural new york.

he had heard from the grapevine that tommy was living down in texas but really he had no connection to him or that part of his life anymore. he never expected to speak to him again, let alone apologize for what happened.

steve clapped him on the shoulder, "it's all good man. not exactly like i was innocent either, i was a dick back then too. hell high school steve would flip if.." he gestured his head in the direction of their apartment.

they both understood what steve meant.

"yeah me neither, pretty sure high school me would beat up current me."

they both laughed, the air lighter than before.

there was a respite in the conversation before tommy piped back up, "you know its actually funny uhh, looking back I'm pretty sure i had a crush on you back then."

huh.

that might have been even more unexpected than the apology, "really? that's uhhhh, wow."

tommy laughed lightly, "yeah i think all that shit with billy our senior year really threw me for a loop and it was the first time i really started thinking about you know," steve does know, "and i uh- fucking hated myself for it so that's why i lashed out like that."

steve gets it and he says as much, "yeah i understand that. when i was first figuring my shit out, it was right when me and eddie became friends so i pushed him away at first. then you know, we kissed for the first time and i had this moment where i was like 'oh i don't hate him, im in love with him' and here we are eleven years later."

"yeah it's hard but i'm happy for you steve, you seem really happy."

steve glanced over at the door of their apartment, he can hear the faint noise of an electric guitar being played to the tune of iron man by black sabbath. pre-eddie, steve never would have believed he could recognize a single black sabbath song, let alone from outside of an apartment with the door muffling most of the intricacies of the song.

how could steve not be happy? he has more than he could have imagined at 31.

he lived within walking distance to his best friend in the entire world. he has a group of friends who are perfect and lovely. he lives in a beautiful city. he has a great job. and he's in a more-than-a-decades-long relationship with the love of his life.

"yeah, i really am."

[rcmclachlan]

That makeup poll reminded me of when you used to do the makeup giveaways and lipstick recommendations. What have you been wearing lately?

Holy moly, I'd completely forgotten about the giveaways! Talk about a blast from the past. The last one I did (according to my #giveaway tag) was 8 whole-ass years ago. Absolutely wild.

Anyway, hit the jump to see what I'm rocking these days as far as makeup goes:

Here was today's look. Admittedly, it was a teensy bit more than my usual day-to-day look, since I went out to lunch with one of my closest friends (who always looks 13/10).

Anyway, let's pretend it's 2014 again and do a makeup look breakdown.

Most of what I wear these days is drug store makeup. The prestige brands must be sweating bullets, because the drug store brands have really stepped up their game.

Lipstick:

I've been really disappointed with Beauty Bakerie's formula over the last couple of years—it just doesn't have the staying power it once did. Probably because the company has been in a tailspin since like 2019. I think it just got bought out.

So my go-to for the last year or so has been Maybelline's Super Stay Matte Ink Liquid Lipstick. I'm super impressed with both the longevity of the wear and the color selection. Since I started dyeing my hair teal, "Romantic" (#30) has been my shade of choice.

The Matte Ink Liquid Lip goes on pretty thick and tacky, and it takes a long time to dry down on its own. I'm not that patient. My recommendation is to dry it in stages with a hair dryer on the lowest heat setting. Apply your bottom lip first, dry it completely, then repeat with your upper lip. Once it's dry, it ain't budging. It will last all day and through all types of meals, including soups and oil-based foods.

Also, it's $9.19 at Target and even less on Amazon. All the staying power of OG Beauty Bakerie and half the price!

Mascara:

I use two mascaras, because I have two sets of lashes that need to do two different things.

Bottom lashes: E.L.F. Lash XTNDR. Because bottom lashes are much more delicate, a regular defining mascara is fine. E.L.F.'s mascara gives me length and definition without clumps or flaking. My eyes aren't irritated by it at the end of the day, either, which is always a plus. Currently $7.00 on Amazon.

Top lashes: Maybelline's The Colossal (waterproof). This was actually recommended to me by a coworker. Her lashes always looked incredible and when she told me it was Maybelline I was floored. No Tarte, no Too Faced, no Benefit, and no Urban Decay has ever given me the definition, length, and fullness that I get with The Colossal. I wear waterproof because my lashes are stick straight and, even after being curled with a curler, will fall after 30 minutes with a regular mascara. It's currently $7.73 on Amazon!

Eyeshadow

I don't really wear eyeshadow on the regular anymore, mostly because I get so much glam from the mascara that I don't need it. But when I want to go the extra mile, my tried and true is a prestige brand, but it's lasted me forever so it was well worth the price.

The Urban Decay NAKED palettes really do live up to the hype. I got myself the NAKED3 version about a year ago, which has more pinky-neutral tones that really complement my skin tone and green eyes.

Because I have hooded eyes, I don't go crazy with it (it's not like you'd see a lot of it anyway). I stick with one to two matte shades ("Limit" and "Nooner"), and then I'll use one of the dark shades ("Darkside") as eyeliner. Hooded eyes means having more eyelid skin, which doesn't always jive with liquid liners or pens. I have an easier time applying a thin line of shadow with a tapered eyeshadow brush (again, nothing fancy or winged—my eyelid/brow folds eat most of it anyway).

The NAKED palettes are pretty pricey at $59 each, but a couple of times a year Ulta does a 50% sale and you can get them for $24.50!

Foundation

Sike! I'm 37 years old and I still don't know how to apply foundation or how to contour. At this point, I'm too afraid to try.

Luckily, I have my mom's good skin and I stay out of the sun as much as I possibly can (and wear sunscreen every day no matter what), so I don't really need it.

+

So, for those of you who wear makeup: what are your go-to's? I'll happily take recommendations!

[coraniaid]

Buffy for the character asks?

General opinion/how much I care about them:  What can I say about Buffy Summers? When she was fifteen years old a representative of an ancient mystical order told her that she alone had the power to stop bad things from happening in the world, thereby confirming something she had hitherto only strongly suspected.  She had to keep a fundamental part of her life secret from the world for years but she never learned how to tell a convincing lie because she was too busy thinking up puns.  She had a 95th percentile SAT score despite mostly studying in between fighting vampires in a cemetery every night and cutting classes to sneak out of school and fight yet more vampires during the day.   All her favorite teachers died or never noticed she existed.  She is both a quintessential only child and somebody who would fight a god to save her annoying little sister.  She blackmailed the management of a fast food chain so that they would let her keep doing a minimum wage job she hated with co-workers whose last names she can’t remember.  She burned down her old high school gym and blamed it on mice and blew up her new high school library while she was at her graduation ceremony and she sunk her hometown into a giant hole in the desert and drove away in a school bus.  She died twice before she turned twenty-one.  She is one of my favorite fictional characters in any medium.

A ship I love: I didn’t really talk about why I love Fuffy in my Faith answer, so let me try now.

Of all of Buffy’s shadow selves, Faith is the one who spends the most time actually in her shadow.  She doesn’t get later character development that takes her in a different direction and makes her her own person; she didn’t start out as something else entirely and get reworked later when the plot required it.  She doesn’t even get the illusion of a family and moments of happiness, like Drusilla has in Season 2.  When Faith’s not hanging out with Buffy she’s sitting alone in her motel room or lying in a coma or counting down the months in jail.  She exists to be a version of Buffy who is not Buffy, who is worse than Buffy, who doesn’t have friends or family or any external support.  That’s really all she is.  And she knows it.  And she hates it.  How could she not?  “You get the Watcher, you get the Mom, you get the little Scooby gang … what do I get?”

Because Faith is Buffy – the part of Buffy who never came back after she ran away from home and got kicked out of school; the part who can admit to craving a little more than low-fat yogurt after a night patrolling; the part that never got to make friends with Xander and Willow in Season 1 and never had a Watcher who cared about her –  so on a fundamental level Fuffy is about Buffy accepting those suppressed and hidden angry parts of herself.  But it’s also about Faith accepting the forgotten and ignored parts of herself that are present in Buffy: the idea that she can be a hero, that there are people in the world who care about her, that there are people who she can trust.  It’s about asking what if all of the Season 3 subtext – Faith’s whole arc this season paralleling Angel’s a year ago, and “what are friends for?” and “It’s kind of a Slayer thing”, and Joyce marching in the Slayer Pride Parade – was text, and what if the show existed in a world where the characters could act on it?

And because of how Season 3 turns out, it’s also about Buffy and Faith forgiving themselves, and each other, for doing almost unforgivable things to each other.  Because there were never meant to be two of them, and they’ve never been able to tell each other what they mean, and because “kill me, you become me”, but she tried and it didn’t help.  And it’s about crappy presents and knives to the throat and forehead kisses and shared dreams and hopelessly entangled destinies.  It’s ”She could be terrified.  Maybe [...] she’s sorry and she’s alone” and “You think you matter, you think you’re a part of something, and then you get dumped” and “All my life there was one person who tried to be my friend” and “I tried so hard to help you and you spat on me” and “Willow said you needed me.  Didn’t really give it much thought.”

As much as I wish Faith was in Season 7 more, part of me is glad that this is all we got, because I really don’t think the show could ever have done all this justice. And the little we get is enough to make me a bit crazy.

A non-romantic relationship that I love: I already talked about Buffy and Willow, so I will try to subvert expectations a little here and go with Buffy and Giles.  Not the fandom version of their relationship I like to complain about where Giles is an uncomplicated Good Dad, but the messy and complicated and heartbreaking version where he just won’t allow himself to be that person.  

I mean, I think it’s very clear from the show that Giles really does care about Buffy far beyond the extent he is supposed to as a Watcher (he tries to go and fight the Master in her place! Even though he knows it would kill him!  Even though this is Season 1 of the show and we’ve not yet seen Giles fight a single vampire!) but that everything about his training and his past tells him that he shouldn’t.  Buffy cares about Giles a lot (“You can’t leave me, I can’t do this alone” / “it’s a little like having Mom back”) and it’s clear that she would really like Giles to be more involved in her life (she wants her Mom to invite him around for Christmas, she goes to his house for Thanksgiving, she tries so hard not to show how hurt she is when she confuses his attempts to be dispassionate with genuine disinterest) but Giles is convinced that he cannot be that sort of parental figure for Buffy and it would only hurt her if he tried, and so – by purposely distancing himself from her and not letting her get close to him– he ends up hurting her in exactly the way he fears.

And the tragedy is that I think Giles really does believe the line he keeps feeding Buffy about how important it is not to be “distracted” by “personal concerns”.  When Quentin Travers told him he had “a father’s love” for Buffy, Travers meant it as a rebuke – and that’s exactly how Giles takes it.  He thinks getting closer to Buffy would be bad for her!  He thinks by leaving her in Season 6 he is helping her become self-reliant and a better Slayer!  Of course he is wrong, but that’s what he thinks, and it is consistent with how he’s always thought.  It’s not character assassination or some unjust subversion of his previously established personality: it is a natural and predictable and awful thing for him to do.  And he does it because he cares about her and doesn’t know what to do about that!  He thinks she’s a much better person than he is (“she’s a hero, you see.  She’s not like us”) and he doesn’t want to bring her down to his level!  “If you care so much about [these people], why didn’t you leave town?” Ethan asked him in The Dark Age, and Giles didn’t have an answer!

The NOTP: Going to cheat a bit here (honestly, mostly because it feels a bit mean to keep picking on Xander at this point), and say that the ship I don’t like isn’t with a specific person but rather with an idea that I see applied to all sorts of ships.  Namely the idea – not supported at all by the text – that Buffy’s various romantic interests are Good People who teach Buffy important life lessons and make her a better person or protect her from the dangerous world around her.  I mean, sorry, but this is not how it works! This is a boring fantasy you have projected onto the show in place of what it was actually telling you.  The feminism of BtVS is paper-thin, but give it some credit!

In canon, Buffy absolutely does not learn from her boyfriends.  She does not rely on them for emotional support.  They all cause her more problems than they help her.  She rescues them.  She makes them better.  Honestly her boyfriends all kind of suck.  Because that’s her type!  She likes losers with no friends who are kind of obsessed about Buffy Summers! (Losers just like Faith!)

Buffy textually hates it when Angel talks down to her: we see repeatedly how furious she gets when he treats her “like a kid” or makes important decisions about their relationship on her behalf.  She doesn't mind physically upstaging Riley (“I was holding back a little”) and secretly likes it when he gets hurt because, to quote Dawn, “she says you look even cuter when you’re all weak and kitteny”. The iconic twin shots of Spike and Buffy in The Gift and After Life are deliberately staged so that Spike is looking up the stairs at Buffy and she is looking down at him (“you’re beneath me”, as she told him in Fool For Love).  And as she says later in Conversations With Dead People:  “Their opinions don’t matter.  They don’t know.  They haven’t been through what I’ve been through [...] I feel like I’m better than them.  Superior.”

So, you know, the preferred power balance is pretty explicit here! I don’t think the show is being excessively subtle. And yet people keep insisting that, oh no, Buffy learns a lot from her boyfriends, or that she can’t possibly cope without their support, or writing fanfics where they swoop in to town to rescue Buffy from trouble. But that is not who Buffy is!  She is not some unsophisticated naif or damsel in distress.  She would hate that so much!  Ship Buffy with whoever you want, but let her be Buffy!

… but also, yeah, rewatching the second season really reminded me how awful I’d have found Buffy/Xander and how glad I am that the show stops hinting at that after Becoming.  Sorry, Xander.  You can take solace in being … well, a loser with friends?

My biggest headcanon about them:  Some time after Chosen Buffy definitely goes back to college and gets that English degree she deserves.  I don’t want to think about Buffy living in a gloomy castle in Scotland and still being forever isolated from the world or about her becoming a cop with superpowers or whatever other nonsense the comics insist happens to her after the show ends.  I want her to be able to have some time off and read some poetry and make Willow jealous academically.

An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: One day I will finish my Season 7 rewrite in which Drusilla is the Big Bad and Faith gets broken out of prison earlier and Amy and Willow get to have a proper resolution and Kennedy is another Slayer from the start and Marcie and Ethan come back for cameos and people remember that Jesse and Kendra ever existed and Dawn actually gets something to do.  But first I will probably have to start writing it.

Something that makes me think of them: Nothing makes me think of Buffy.  I choose to be like this (for some reason).

[the-east-art]

Easts Supernatural Rant

Just been thinking a lot about how bad Supernatural is lately because I've been going through the weeds reading old fics I've bookmarked and there's some good SPN ones. Background info: I watched SPN nonstop in middle school (roughly ten years ago) and if you go back in time you'll see that it was the fandom I was in way back when I first made my tumblr. I watched until about... season 10? When I realized it was never going to actually get good. So I was really obsessed with it for a good while but also it has been quite a while since I actually watched it.

rant under the cut o7

Okay so anyone who has watched Supernatural knows that it didn't start out actually so... bad. Supernatural starts out decent and builds up momentum fine in my memory clear through the final of season 5. I feel like among the fandom most people know that this should have been the ending of the series. For those reading who don't know, Swan Song ends with a really beautiful monologue about endings and in a tragedy with just enough of a glimmer of hope. Like it's a good ending. And then the series just kept going. do not get me wrong - there's a lot of fun episodes and concepts explored in the *checks notes* holy shit 10 FUTURE SEASONS, but it's also where a lot of the cracks really get bad.

However, in my opinion the biggest issue with Supernatural as the seasons progress is how whittled down the cast becomes. In the first few seasons there are a lot of supporting cast that you really get attached to - there's a bar for hunters, Bobby's place, a whole network of people connected to the principle cast.

While naturally the core of the series is Dean and Sam (and eventually Castiel) almost all of the supporting cast dies. And while I think the death is good in several ways, it really pushes the stakes of the series, especially in the earlier seasons where death truly was final and wasn't a joke. However you can only kill the supporting cast for so long until the show becomes... lonely. Messy. You start to not want to get attached to new characters because of how you know they'll probably die and then not get mentioned again. Many characters after their death just kind of... fade into the background never to be seen. While I don't believe that characters need to be mourned forever, you can't help but to feel that they are dropped for convenience of the show.

This has been on my mind because, as I've been poking around the annals of ao3 looking for diamonds in the rough, I've realized that really any fics that take place in any of the later seasons (let's say 8-15) to me might as well be a different show. It's a show heralded by characters I either don't know (Griffin Mcelroy meme of 'I don't know who Jack Kline is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask) or are character so completely reshaped by the narrative that I no longer recognize them (Castiel the character that just kind of does whatever will make the story interesting I'm looking at you).

What previously is a respectable narrative becomes blown out of proportion. I was reading a fic that dealt a lot with the themes of 'free will' and what that means and how do we try and exercise it, and I realize that I forgotten that, at one point, free will had been the theme of the series. The principle trio in the fandom is called Team Free Will because of that, but pretty much after season 5 all of that is thrown out the window. The first third of the series the boys are fighting against fate, and prophecy, and roles that they have been assigned to. But in the latter part of the series, as the narrative web spins further out of control, you lose that theming.

I mostly talk about this because I kind of find it interesting to look at. About what is engaging to me as a person, and what is a red flag. What I like in a story and what I don't. And I am chiefly reminded of moments where the series drops plot point, or muddies messaging (I have been reminded what The Voicemail is and how it is never addressed). And It's sad. Because I really REALLY loved the show once, and cared for the characters. And now I take refuge in fanfiction, because a lot of the aspects of the story and settings and characters hold SO MUCH potential, that is ruined in the source material.

Uhhhh yeah. Let me know what you think and let me know if have any questions about my opinions on stuff cuz I LOVE talking about art and narrative and stories. Or let me know if you want Fanfic recs because hell yeah I do.

[ecogirl2759]

Here's something interesting (maybe)-

So, a couple years ago, I got bored and was feeling sorry for Taka, as usual, when I decided I wanted to research something that was probably pointless.

BUT I DID IT ANYWAY!

Below the break here is an analysis of Trial 3 of Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc. I looked at some characters and wrote down things that I thought were noteworthy. Everything (other than the percentiles) has been untouched from my initial research (formatted for Tumblr).

Let me know if you guys have anything else that you think is interesting!

!!SPOILER WARNING FOR CHAPTER 3!!

~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

Trial 3

(Only gaining some info from nonstop debates)

Victim’s names weren’t mentioned until after 8 mins in

Victim’s often only called “it” or “corpse”

Only talks about Taka when it’s convenient

Hiro’s self-aware that he’s dumb

In talks about both victims, Hifumi seems to be brought up most

Most times Hifumi’s objectified is when he & Taka are lumped together

Hifumi referred to more, but as “he/him” (doesn’t fit criteria)

Taka often only referred to in cases of figuring out Hifumi

Lmao Tick Tock and Huffy

Most times Taka isn’t objectified is when they’re talking about his note

Celeste slandering dead Hifumi

After certain point, Taka’s barely brought up until closing

Taka mostly only referred to as “body” or “corpse”

Hifumi was accomplice, but Taka was/is important

Taka:

# times name called: 63 111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111|111

# times referred to as object: 56 111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111|11

# times referred to total - 119 Ratio - 63:56 % objectified - 47.06%

Hifumi:

# times name called: 104 111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111|11111111111

# times referred to as object: 30 1111111111111111111111111111|11

# times referred to - 134 Ratio - 104:30 % objectified - 22.39%

| - Closing argument

After the trial:

Hifumi was completely manipulated

Celeste slandered Taka’s good name

“He forced me to steal her… He abused me [and] took pictures, saying he’d show everyone if I did not comply… He is going to use her to escape… He is going to kill you [just] so he can have her all to himself.”

God I hate Celeste

“Did you do it for the money?” “…That is not all there is to it.”

Celeste’s dream/goal was to live in a castle which she’d need money for

“Are you asking me to feel guilty? That’s a pointless endeavor.”

~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

So...

Whaddya think?

I knew at the time that people really didn't like how little Taka was brought up / mentioned during the trial, and I wanted to see if there was any merit to that.

TURNS OUT THERE WAS! I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE ANGRY LOL

I also feel like that last part where Celeste accuses Taka of... well yk what it is. That part is largely forgotten about or actively disregarded by Celeste stans and the Dangan fandom as a whole.

THIS LADY WAS WILLING TO FALSELY ACCUSE SOMEONE OF YKW JUST SO THAT SHE COULD GO LIVE IN A MANSION WITH VAMPIRE BUTLERS!!!! SHE'S NOT A GREAT PERSON!!!!

Props to Hifumi for sticking up for her, but uh... murder? Really?

Hifumi, really, just wanted to help. He thought he was doing something good, and I applaud that. Just... yk... murder?

SO YEAH

HERE ARE MY FINDINGS!

Hope y'all get something meaningful out of this because I grabbed it and now I have NOTHING to do with it :(

Let's all suffer together :D

[onehundredgar]

Click for Palestine 🇵🇸 : https://arab.org/click-to-help/palestine/

Hey! What’s up? Thanks for coming around!

Pseudonym’s Annie. I’ve got most of my quick info in my bio, if you ever feel inclined to skim it! I’m Bangladeshi and Muslim. I’m also aspec, omnisexual, and pangender. I also am very large and contain multitudes.

This is my main blog! I reblog a lot of stuff I find funny, stuff about the moon, about animals and nature but birds and fish in particular, about community and partnership and overcoming prejudice, about love and family and friends, and about identity and orientation and mental health.

I tag all my posts, replies, and reblogs as accurately as I can. If there are any issues with my tags, post contents, or anything else in my blog, please let me know so I can fix it and make it a more comfortable online space!

I love meeting people! If you'd like to, shoot me a message or an ask and you can be sure I'll respond!

Below is the alphabetically organised guide to my current fandoms and my relationship with them, and to my organisational structure for my tags. It's a long post; keep reading at your own risk!

Fandoms!

Artemis Fowl

I can be safely critical of it nowadays since it's geared towards a younger audience but I respect the solid worldbuilding it portrays, especially for a children's book. Good stuff- I'd still recommend it.

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared

Again, got into it when I was younger and it kind of burrowed its way into my brain where it rotted, forgotten, for ages until the sudden new season. Not necessarily emotionally invested, but the Three Of Them have my whole heart for sure.

Dungeon Meshi

I got into it VERY recently by binging the manga, and now I'm keeping up with the Netflix adaptation! Obsessed with the solid worldbuilding.

Gravity Falls

Top fandom ever everrrrr. Got obsessed with it as a kid and I’ve never let it go since. I know all the sordid fandom history, all the best and most popular headcanons of current day, and some the most based fanartists and fics. I do a lot of recreational multishipping in my dark and evil mind palace.

My Little Pony

Come on come onnnnn. It's a classic. I have an encyclopaedic and philosophical understanding of the MLP universe. No I will not talk about it.

Percy Jackson

Hey I mean it was pretty formative for me when I was younger. Got me into mythology! I'm critical of it nowadays but I cannot deny the positive impact it had on me. Good stuff! Haven't and probably won't watch the new live adaptation.

The Wind-Up Chronicle Bird

Read it VERY recently. Super surreal, and as always, Murakami never misses. However, the books I am emotionally invested in change on a monthly basis. Expect the title to switch in a little bit.

Welcome to Night Vale

I got into it half a year ago and it literally changed my brain chemistry. One of my forever fandoms for sure, though I must admit it fell off after "Father Kevin"...

Tag Organisation Guide!

Annie’s Anomalous Affairs:

#annie’s aberrant abominations - there’s very little content in this tag. OC tag; I don’t reaaaally talk about my OCs though so don’t worry about it. It’s mostly stuff I reblog to help character build anyway. I’ll list the subtags for individual OCs below as they appear on my blog.

#abomination: Danny #abomination: Hannah #abomination: Hedon #abomination: Lola #abomination: Spring #abomination: Teresa

#annie adores advice - there’s a LOT of content in this tag. Advice or awareness spreading I reblog that I think will help me live easier, or to signal boost so people who need it can use it.

#annie argot - posts of mine where I think I utilised especially clever wordplay, which I archive under this tag for future writing reference.

#annie attempts art - my art! At least up until now I’ve drawn purely on Procreate so it’s all digital medium.

#annie awakened - a tag specifically for answering asks and mentions!

#annie awkwardly articulates - my posts! I talk about my thoughts and experiences, or I’ll be archiving a chat I had here online.

#authentic annie appearances - screenshots of text conversations with my IRL friends.

Annie Appreciates…:

#birdposting - just the same; reblogging cool and/or funny posts about birds! I love birds. Love their behaviour, love how they evolve, love eating them. I try to include the species of bird in the tags whenever I can!

#boys will be boys - I use this tag whenever I am appreciating masculinity! This includes folks being silly, being kind, being geeky, and all around being. Often accompanied by the “girl moment” tag (elaborated on below).

#classic - tag for infamous Tumblr posts that I archive for myself! Gotta collect those heritage posts, man. Can’t have a blog without the colour of the sky.

#classic + #to me - iconic Tumblr posts that feel like they should be infamous but aren’t for some reason.

#fishposting - you guessed it; reblogging cool and/or funny posts about fish! I love fish. Love their biology, love how they look, love eating them. I try to include the species of fish in the tags whenever I can!

#girl moment - I use this tag whenever I am appreciating femininity! This includes folks being silly, being kind, being geeky, and all around being. Often accompanied by the “boys will be boys” tag (elaborated on above).

#later gator - the tag I use to save things (usually videos) to look at later when I’m scrolling tumblr at double-time (or have my volume on), probably because I’m at work.

#my romantic wife - that’s the moon! I adore the moon, it’s unmatched (tag not to be confused with the term I often use, “my platonic wife”, elaborated on below)!

#number - tag for things that I think are attractive, ranging from blatant thirst trap art to standard-ATX motherboards.

#take me out to dinner first - tag for scheduled posts that have something to do with the date of the day.

Annie’s Associates:

#DNA double felix-cipher - tag for tumblr user @toytanks, Felix-Cipher. The tag is a play on the term “double helix structure”.

#my froinds :3 - I talk about or reblog posts that remind me of my IRL friends! My friends are very important to me and I love them so so much.

#sarufiyyun - tag for tumblr user @biblicallyaccuratepigeons, Seraph-Chim, who’s angelkin. Sarufiyyun is the Islamic term for Seraphim.

#the coworker - this very specific colleague I have who who is pretty eccentric. She stalks my blog. You can find her snarky remarks under the reclusive @annielover69420 handle.

#the spouse - this is “my platonic wife” (not to be confused with the tag “my romantic wife”, elaborated on above)! My best friend who I’ve known for nearly two decades. I have a special tag for her because I have a special relationship with her. Sometimes I will be a little sulky about her, but hey, marriage has its ups and downs!

Annie’s Avocations:

#art reference - what it says on the tin. Step by step guides or simple diagrams of art tips; whatever helps me draw!

#recipes - I feel like I should throw this tag in here now that I have at least two or three reblogs for it. Cool recipes for cool food I’d like to make one day.

#tutorial - tutorials for anything at all! I eat life advice for every meal. Sometimes these won't be strictly tutorials but something adjacent— I tag as such anyway so I can find it later under that label if necessary.

#writing - yes, I have nothing to show for it on here, but I’m a writer! Tag for writing tips and also inspiration.

That's all, folks! Have a good one!

[nburkhardt]

This was just supposed to be a small fun little “what if Mike has a crush on Steve?” Thing and it turned out to be a character study on Mike figuring out his sexuality. Oops, my bad. Sorry for glossing over the upside down things and for the unreliable narrative lol (Mike’s a bit of a mess) Also sorta canon but also definitely not canon. Small warning for references to homophobia, nothing is directed at anyone but it was there. (Timeline is a little…iffy. Don’t pay too much attention to if)

Anyway ~

He first learns of him on accident and a month before ever meeting him. Overheard Nancy admitting to Barb; “he’s just so handsome, I can’t help it!” Then he listened to Barb complain about the guy before giving up on eavesdropping. During that, he never actually heard a name. So it didn’t matter, it’s just some dumb boy…right?

He’s twelve years old and his best friend is missing. That’s what is important to him right now, what he overheard a month ago isn’t useful to him and he forgot most of what he heard, actually.

When he’s sneaking out to search for Will, he hears a crash and someone cursing. Looking around he catches sight of someone trying and failing at climbing the side of his house. The guy waves once he notices him staring and attempts to look casual, like that would make anyone feel any better. Rolling his eyes, he rides away annoyed.

Even if there’s a flash of the guy’s dumb smile in his head and it doesn’t matter to him, there’s more important things going on.

Finding a girl in the woods throws him for a loop, causing his brain to stop and whatever thoughts he had on the guy to be temporarily forgotten. Since he’s too wrapped up in finding Will, hiding El and figuring out The Upside Down to really pay attention to anything else. Even though his brain plays that dumb smile in his dreams over and over. It’s weird and he doesn’t know why it’s happening.

Fast forward to after finding Will and El disappearing, he actually meets the guy. Steve Harrington, Nancy’s apparent boyfriend. It’s definitely the same guy, his dumb smile hasn’t left his head since the first time and he doesn’t understand why it makes him go a little… loopy? Mushy? His stomach is doing weird flips, maybe he’s getting sick? It has been cold out recently and he was out a lot looking for Will and El. That’s gotta be it.

Nothing to do with the way Steve flashed him a smile before continuing on his way to Nancy’s bedroom….right?

~~

He’s thirteen now and he just watched Billy try to punch Lucas. Only for Steve to deck him first and then he’s cheering him on. It shouldn’t be exciting but it is. Steve punching the shit out of that asshole, he shouldn’t be cheering him on…but he is.

His stomach is doing the same thing like when Steve flashes his smile at him.

It’s been just a little over a year since feelings has started. He doesn’t acknowledge them, not really. He knows they’re there and he still can’t really figure them out. It’s confusing to him, he’s overheard many kids say “guys liking guys is wrong” and “it’s sinful!” from adults. So, he’s mostly ignoring them. Only in his head and dreams does he let himself think about them and fully acknowledging them.

But they still kept coming back every time Steve was at his house visiting Nancy and there was the one time when he decided to hangout in the basement with him and his friends. Saying something about Nancy studying. It was nice, he’ll admit it. Especially when he heard Steve’s laugh for the first time and it made the fluttering in his stomach happen again.

It’s like when he kissed El for the first time.

See, that’s where he’s confused. How can he like El and have this…thing for Steve?

Before he knows it, Steve is out cold and they’re rushing out of the house. During the trip in the car, Steve calls him Nancy and then they’re in the tunnels. In all of that, he shoves down this whatever again.

It’s just there’s more important things going on, okay?

Just a few months later, he sees Steve more often and in the dumbest work uniform ever. He makes fun of it every chance he gets and uses the fact that he can get them into the new movie theater for free. If he was being honest, the fact that Steve’s lips now look like they have lipstick on it, definitely does not help whatever he has for him.

Sometimes his brain gives him what ifs and instead of thinking of El, he’s thinking of Steve and he’s starting to hate it. Honest to god hates it. It’s been nearly two years since this started. He doesn’t like that he can’t figure it out and sometimes doesn’t want to either.

He’s just glad Steve isn’t dating his sister anymore.

~~

At fifteen years old, Mike Wheeler has finally realized he’s not straight and that he has a goddamn crush on Steve Harrington.

Between being in a long distance relationship and getting into high school, it all came crashing down on him. He’s not sure when it hit or what did it, but he knows now and honestly? Admitting to crushing on his sister’s ex-boyfriend makes him kind of want to die.

Thinking back on the last few years, it all makes sense to him now. It’s pretty obvious now, knowing why he’d feel mushy and get goddamn butterflies when Steve would look his way with his dumb smile or the first time he heard the guy laugh. Or that he just looks good and- okay, he needs to stop thinking now.

There’s one night in particular where he actually thinks about it, really thinks about it all. He doesn’t think he’s gay, he really does like- maybe even love El. But he definitely thinks about Steve more than he’ll actually admit out loud. Then there’s also some celebrities that are guys he finds attractive but he also thinks girls look so pretty and beautiful too.

After that night he still doesn’t understand and he can’t go to anyone, well, he could but talking about this out loud to somebody is scary. Especially when he’s heard his dad talk negative about gay people and his mom is nice and easy to talk to but it’s awkward to talk to his mom about things like crushes.

He absolutely refuses to talk to Nancy about it. Can’t- won’t talk about it with Steve, since he’s the whole reason he even realized this about himself. Doesn’t necessarily want to bring it up with his friends either, mostly because he’s never heard them even hint at liking guys. He’s not close with Steve’s friend Robin and the whole Byers family is in California and talking about this with El would bring even more questions.

When Eddie Munson comes in the picture along with the rest of the Hellfire crew, he keeps quiet about it still. Not comfortable with letting loose that he might be even slightly gay. Instead he talks about El and Will and that he’s leaving for California to visit them.

He shoves down all of it when he visits El during spring break and then he’s definitely ignoring it while looking for El after she’s kidnapped.

Ignores it until he overhears Argyle talking to Jonathan about bisexuality during the quiet hours of driving to Hawkins. He doesn’t know why the guy brings it up or that Argyle isn’t actually quiet about it, in fact that guy is talking so loud that maybe he doesn’t even know it.

Instead of telling them to quiet down since Will and El are asleep, he listens and listens. Stares out the window, trying to make it look like he’s not freaking out right now.

Because this is it, he’s finally learning something and he didn’t even have to admit out loud his thoughts! This has got to be what he is, not straight but also not gay either. Bisexual. A person that likes both, girls and guys. It’s okay and apparently that’s what Argyle is. So he’s not alone in this either, which makes him want to kind of cry.

There was a few moments in the last year where he felt ridiculously alone. Thoughts of Steve and than thoughts of El, felt like he couldn’t be with her when his mind kept flashing images of Steve of all people and he remembers clear as day what it feels like to have Steve’s dumb smile pointed at him, to feel all fuzzy when he laughs at his jokes. And during all of that he couldn’t share the stupid butterflies with anyone, too afraid of what would happen if he even mentioned feeling good from someone that isn’t his girlfriend.

Argyle and Jonathan keep up their conversation and have moved on to other things, but he’s still freaking out. His heart is beating ridiculously fast but his mind is finally relaxing at knowing what he is. He falls asleep like that, accepting it and realizing he needs to voice this out loud to ease himself.

He just doesn’t know to who, yet.

~~

In the end, he tells El and Will. Feels most himself and comfortable with them. It makes him feel more seen than ever before.

Even if he and El break up right after.

He turns sixteen and for the first time in three years, feels the most alive he’s ever been. Not only are the problems with the upside down is officially and forever gone, but all of his friends are in the same state again. Everyone is happy and safe, it’s the greatest feeling ever.

Somehow, on Steve’s birthday of all days, is the day he ends up coming out to his friends. It’s not exactly surprising. In the future, he’ll laugh about it when he ends up telling the man himself. But until then, he’s only telling El and Will.

They corner him, actually.

He thought he was being sneaky while he was watching Steve and Eddie badly and boldly flirt in the pool. But it seems he wasn’t sneaky enough because El grabs his hand and nearly drags him back inside Steve’s house with Will following.

“Uh, what?”

The three of them actually just stare at each other for a while. He’s confused at why they brought him inside, Will looks uncomfortable and El…well she’s smiling but also looks confused.

“You were staring at Steve a lot” El finally breaks the silence and she tilts her head, “You were blushing”

All he can do is freeze and just feel the rise of heat to his cheeks. Looking away from both of them to speak is a lot easier, after being called out. “I uh, well, since we’re here. I might have a bit of a crush on Steve”

There it is. He said it, officially and out loud in front of people. It makes him feel a little giddy, if he’s being honest. It’s a silly crush that started when he was twelve and it hasn’t gone away since, it won’t turn into anything either. But it’s still nice, still makes his heart happy. Knowing that other people also know.

When both of them say nothing, he looks at them and he’s glad it’s them. Will always be glad that they’re the ones that he told first. Because, yeah there’s confusion on their faces and the uncomfortable look on Will’s face isn’t there anymore. If anything, he looks like how he feels.

“I- I’m bisexual, I like girls and boys.”

As soon as it’s out of his mouth, he just feels lighter. It’s like he’s free and standing with two of the people loves the most, he’s himself for the first time in so long. That makes him smiles and nothing can hurt him right now, especially in this moment.

El and Will might be quiet, but they would never hurt him.

It might’ve felt like forever in the silence but in reality it was only a few minutes before they both started talking. Especially over each other, El’s still confused and Will seems way too excited. And he’s laughing, this might be his crush’s birthday but this is the best day of Mike’s life.

Eventually, they quiet back down and he explains it better. Tells them everything and how it took him actual years to figure it out. That the one who pushed it in his head and heart, is Steve and his dumb beautiful smile. He’s not afraid of speaking it out loud anymore, especially when both El and Will admit to him that they also have a crush on Steve. It makes him giddy being able to finally speak these things with people, especially his favorite people.

~~~~

He’s seventeen years old and his best friend kisses him for the first time. He’s flying in the clouds, blushing a deep red and his heart is beating faster than ever.

He feels free and happier than ever.

He is alive and his best friend is alive. That’s what is important to him.

This was seriously supposed to be a short one shot of Mike being upset with having a crush on Steve and it uh, got away from me. It’s a character study now. Hopefully it seems in character and that it’s not too weirdly written. It’s not checked over for mistakes either so sorry about that lol.

[nhaneh]

@lynxden assuming you meant cpu and not gpu then yes xD

it's basically some of the most memorable and fun moments I've had learning programming has been about doing things the Hard Way™ - doing things manually tends to require you to spend more time thinking about what the computer's actually doing to accomplish the things you ask it to do, which is inevitably a lot more work and often nowhere near as efficient or capable because it's pretty unlikely that you just happen to be smarter than the entire R&D teams they have at Nvidia or Unreal or wherever - but it does force you to learn stuff, at least on a temporary basis.

I mean look, when I first learned how to do proper programming that wasn't just faffing around in Qbasic or whatever, it was on Turbo Pascal in DOS some 25-odd years ago, and I'm kind of forever grateful that when it came to doing graphics, instead of just having us use the built in Borland Graphics API, the teacher taught us how to enter VGA mode 0x13 via direct DOS interrupts, and then how to draw graphics by writing directly to the part of memory that held the screen for that mode.

I still remember the address being 0xA000.

So when I decided I really should take another stab at trying to figure out how the hells matrices work for 2D and 3D transformations a few weeks back, I thought hey why not try doing all of this directly using the Win32 GDI API, BitBlt:ing a framebuffer into the graphics because then I'll also have to re-learn a bunch of stuff that I've more or less forgotten over the years. Plus, there's a part of me that kind of wants to try to take some time to learn at least a little more about software reverse engineering - see if I could ever get to a point where I might be able to look into whether some examples of old games or software that doesn't work so well anymore could be updated to work a bit better.

So, step by step I'm gradually working my way towards a software triangle rasteriser to see about poking around with all of that and I dunno maybe I'll make something small and simple out of it like maybe some vampire survivors-alike or something like the original after burner or maybe even descent or something, who knows.

For now it's mostly a whole lot of googling around, trying to wrap my brain around stuff that feels like I used to find it easier to understand than I do now, and basically just reminding myself why I liked doing some of this stuff, haha.

[638287492818472]

Guys do you ever just think about humanity

Because

I was re-organising my bookshelf today because that’s my favourite form of procrastination and I found all the stacks of cards I’ve kept from birthdays and Christmases for the past two or three years, the ‘Well Done!‘ and ‘We’re So Proud!‘ cards from starting college a few weeks ago

And I still have as well the ‘Get Well Soon‘ cards from the heart operation I had last year, from extended family mostly, and that made me wish I’d kept the one I’d got from my last operation in primary school, year 4, with the bandaged teddy bear on the front, signed from my whole class

But the card that made me the most sentimental was the one with the bright yellow ballons with smiley faces on the front because I’d got it from a complete stranger who I never even spoke to

The operation had been horrible and the recovery had been horrible and I’m sure I was an absolute nightmare to everyone else on the ward, both the nurses and the poor little kids, because I was still at the children’s hospital then

But embarrassingly I’d cried and cried the whole night, loudly, until the nurses came after what felt to me like a very long time and told me I was having a panic attack, which I thought was strange because I didn’t feel like I was having a panic attack, just that I was in agony and no one was there because I’d refused my mother’s offer to stay with the insistance that I was old enough now to be by myself

I remember the little boy in the bed opposite racing his toy cars down the opposite, and I remember his dad stepping out for a moment to talk to the nurses, about me, maybe, because they came not long after that

And the next morning when my parents brought me breakfast my mother also handed me a card, from the family opposite, saying

‘To the family opposite,

Cant imagine the distress your young girl is going through but as a parent I do know whatever age it’s a worrying time, I was trying not to notice the discomfort she is in and I apologise if this was the wrong thing to do. But I chose this card to hopefully bring a smile to all of your faces. I hope you can soon be home together again and look forward to a bright future.’

And I honestly cried when I read it and still cry now every time I read it because God the humanity? The compassion and sympathy and uncertainty, and wanting to help and not knowing how, just the kindness from and towards complete strangers

I’d almost forgotten about this card until I found it today but it still makes me emotional because I really think it exemplifies the best part of humanity and it meant so much to me then and means so much to me now

I don’t know where I’m going with this other than that i was just overflowing with emotion today because god people are good and kind and even if you don’t know if you’re helping or whether people want your kindness they do and they’ll think about it and cry about it for the rest of their life I promise